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Ok, the big day is coming. Here's the clothing plan:

My favorite dark grey slacks with the flare and cuff at the bottom and a bright white sleeveless cowl-neck top. To keep my arms warm in the cool morning air, I'll wear one of my black shrugs I used to love wearing when I was allowed to wear real clothes at work (not scrubs). Silver bracelet on the right, silver watch on the left, only my grandmother's aquamarine in white gold on my finger--the rest stay home this time. To finish, my silver and black leather heart necklace from Brighton. My weapon? A Kindle. I'll probably get there early, and I'll want to read. Yes, I know my coworker had suggested a real weapon, to which I responded by getting a retractable baton, No weapons. Just me, my book, and my belief that he's not that kind of guy. I haven't prayed for him to be brave and courageous all this time just to not trust him when he wants to talk.

My guard won't be that far down, though. He was horrible to me. I haven't forgotten, and I won't forget. I'll be keeping a close eye on him, of that you can be certain. And this time, if the conversation starts to go south, I am not sticking around.

I'm not gonna lie--I am anxious as hell. But I know I'll have people looking out for me and checking up on me. Pooka, from work, who will have his home address and is instructed to find me if I don't text him after this meeting concludes, and one of my girls who will be tracking me via Viber, are going to keep their eyes and ears open. I also have the over-protective parents on my team, so...all is as good as it's gonna get. My weapon of choice is common sense, and that never hurts anyone.
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Well, the lovely Ex has resurfaced for the second time. DAMN IT.

I guess it was too much for me to expect this was over after the last time he shot me text, haha.

So AssHat text me Saturday night before I went to bed. He just said "hey", and I more or less told my phone--and thus his text--to go fuck itself because I was tired, so I chose not to worry over giving a response until waking up on Sunday. So now, Sunday rolls on in. I text him before we get started with the Father's Day celebrations, pretending like I hadn't gotten the message until the morning =P. A couple hours later, he responds, and then we started texting back and forth for about four or five hours. He was incredibly chatty for someone who had been a dick to me... Very confusing...

Anyhow, the end of the conversation finally came around, and lo and behold, he did more or less what I was both expecting and dreading. He asked to meet up. He had wanted to do it right away, but there was just no way I was mentally or physically prepared for it (he asked to see me on Monday or Tuesday, which are my grocery and cooking days respectively). More or less telling the truth of my unavailability, I put him on hold until the next Saturday I'm off. That'll be July 1st. He almost literally jumped at the offer. I guess I was no better. After all, it never occurred to me that I could just say "no." I have to prepare myself for the fallout of that when I'm off next time. This is gonna be a long ass seven days. I really hope I don't think about this all f-ing week...
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I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately (do I ever actually feel that badly, though?). My weight has been stable, which is fine I suppose. I don't mind this size at all, as all my favorite clothes still fit =). I've been at 162.8lbs since I started walking back in March-ish, so even if my BMI comes up as "obese" (which takes almost nothing to be called that according to those measurements, btw), I'm within my personal range of 158lbs-164lbs. The only real exercises I haven't been able to do with a great deal of determination or success have been the Pilates ones and jumping rope. With my dad always home, his car is always in the garage, which is the only place I can jump rope in private. Waiting until he leaves hasn't worked out especially well as of yet. For the Pilates set, I just plain-old forget to do them, lol. I need to work on that particular discipline....

I have been doing a TON of research as of late on essential oils focusing on acne prevention. Exhausting as hell, but already yielding many promising results. Aaaaand costing me a shit-ton of money -_-. Ah well. My interest in this initially began sometime last year, but it was only now that I managed to squeeze in the time to do the leg work and start getting answers. As I said, the results have been very promising, and I feel confident going forward with this plan of action. I have discovered a good many things in this quest, and this pleases me all the more.

The original goal of this research was to save money on prescription acne medication, as the one I use was going at damn near $300/tube with insurance, and that was only last year. This year...I have a feeling it'll be even closer, if not over $300 when if I go back for a refill. So now I've spent endless hours researching alternative, natural treatment options. I already had a good amount of the most basic supplies from back when I was making my own bodywash--something I'll be doing again very soon--so I was able to save a little money with that. The rest has been costly to get everything I possibly can. However, unlike that $300 tube, these prices won't vary as much, and I'm basically buying everything in bulk supply. I haven't tallied the damage yet, but I know it has been a costly journey. But even if it ends up costing me more, the fact that I'll be relying on fewer chemicals and more natural things makes me feel good.

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good ^-^.


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August 2017

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